


Before We Break

by mearcats



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5519666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mearcats/pseuds/mearcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been back from the Underworld for a while, and life has moved on. But there are still unspoken issues and emotions. Will Killian and Emma be able to come together before their problems threaten all they've built?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for [ofgoodform](http://ofgoodform.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, my delightful CSSS giftee. Merry Christmas! 
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful hezzer19 for beta'ing.

Killian started, jerking to wakefulness. He rubbed his eyes. It had been a few days since his last nightmare. Never fond of these nightly terrors post-Underworld, he found them almost worse after when they were infrequent and spaced out. He looked over at the other side of the bed where Emma lay snoring lightly.

He sighed. Since their return from the Underworld over a month ago, Killian had completely moved in with Emma. They had their meals together. They watched that magic box called a television with Henry. They had sex, shared a bed. But something was off.

He loved her. Wholly and completely. And he was beyond grateful for the group effort led by Emma to rescue him from hell.

Swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, Killian headed to the kitchen. He needed rum. After pouring a generous tumbler and plopping down at the table, he stared down at his hand and the stump normally covered by his hook.

Emma was his True Love, capital letters and all. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t still a little angry at her. And hurt. She, more than anyone, should know the pain of having one’s agency taken away by another. He understood why she’d done what she did, but it still rankled. Killian downed his rum.

_ Sniffle. Sob. _

Hearing the sounds of weeping coming from their bedroom, Killian hurriedly stood and shuffled up the stairs. Anger notwithstanding, his love didn’t need to suffer through a nightmare. Arriving at the doorway, he saw Emma’s shoulders shaking, her entire body turned away from the door.

“Emma, love? Are you awake?”

Her shoulders stiffened and stilled. “I’m fine,” she rasped. Her assurance was somewhat undermined by the tears he could sense were still streaming down her face. That, and the fact she remained face away from him.

Sliding back into the bed, Killian reached across the eight inches or so between them, skating his hand over her flannel-clad hip while he supported himself on his left arm. Emma slumped, though she remained where she was. A louder sob broke from her throat, and he caressed her side lightly.

“My love, you’re obviously not fine. Did you have a nightmare?”

Emma let out a hysterical, watery laugh. “No, actually, I just… nothing.”

“So this nothing has made you cry now? Emma, look at me.”

She turned back towards him slowly. As she sat up, Killian could see that her face was red and swollen from tears. He brushed aside a strand of hair that had gotten stuck in the tear tracks. Taking her hand, he sat next to her and waited for her to speak.

When she did, her voice was small and soft. “I thought you’d left.”

“Love, I was just downstairs-”

“I know that now, but I woke up all alone. Like I’ve felt — Killian, things haven’t been right between us since we got back. And I thought-” Emma started weeping in earnest again.

“You thought I’d left. That I’d had enough, and gone.”

“Yes, okay? I know you’re mad at me. I’ve been trying so hard, and I apologised, and I just don’t know what to do anymore!”

Dropping her hand, he scratched behind his ear. “Lass…” His words trailed off with a sigh.

“I can’t go back, Killian. I can’t go back to who I was before you, and I can’t be without you, I tried and I can’t.”

“Emma, you don’t have to be. I’m right here. I’m right here,” he whispered soothingly, taking her into his arms. “Just tell me what I can do.”

“Are you happy? With me? With us?”

Killian paused, stroking Emma’s hair as he pondered her question. “My love, you make me the happiest I’ve ever been. At this moment? No, I’m not happy. You’re right, I’m still upset, and there is much we haven’t spoken of. But nothing will stop me from loving you. And I once told your father I would follow you to the end of the world, or time. That has yet to change.”

Emma relaxed slightly in his embrace and rested her head on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Killian. I- everyone leaves. And you told me you’d survive, and you didn’t. I killed you, I ruined it-”

“Swan, you did no such thing. You did what you needed to, what we thought would destroy the darkness. And, truly, I am glad to be living this life with you, but it still hurts that you didn’t respect my wishes. I said and did such horrible things, and I became someone I never wanted to be again.You can’t tell me I didn’t hurt you during my stint as the Dark One.”

“You did hurt me. But I hurt you, too, you and Henry. And I’ll never forgive myself for, for, hurting you both the way I did. I just don’t know how much more I can apologise to you,” Emma hiccuped. “It isn’t helping, it isn’t making things better between us.”

Killian tightened his grip on her waist, letting his hand slip under her camisole to caress the soft skin there. “I don’t want more apologies, and I suspect you don’t either. I just need time, Emma. I know you did what you did out of love, so it’s easy to forgive you.”

“How can you, when you still have the scars from where I  _ stabbed _ you?” Emma’s hand ran over the place on his back where Excalibur had protruded.

“Can you forgive me for saying the horrendous things I did?” She nodded, and opened her mouth to reassure him. He quickly placed his index finger over her mouth. “Please let me finish, love. We need to get this out. I won’t ask for any more apologies about that, and I don’t think you will either. I promise to do my best to survive, if you’ll let me make my choices.” Killian let his hand drift back to her back, and he pulled her into his lap. Wrapping her legs around his waist and placing her arms around his shoulders, she sniffled into his neck.

“Agreed. I promise to respect your choices. But, babe, please...just tell me when you need space or time?”

“Oh, Swan, I’m so sorr- yes. I will always do my best to not shut you out.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her golden head.

They passed a few minutes in such peace that Killian began to wonder if his Swan had drifted to sleep. Then Emma let out a tired giggle, and he quirked his eyebrow. “I got your shirt all wet.”

“So you did, wench. I suppose I’ll have to take it off now.” He waggled his eyebrows and moved to pull off the white tee shirt.

Emma’s palm over his chest stopped him. He looked at her questioningly. She shook her head. “Why were you downstairs at two in the morning?”

“Ah. I had begun to wonder if you simply didn’t wish to see my handsome figure without the obstruction of this hindering cloth.”

“You know I have no complaints about you being shirtless, you long-winded pirate. Now stop deflecting. What’s up?” Emma paused. “Unless you need time before you talk about it.”

“No, love, I don’t mind. I had a nightmare. The same one, the one about that horrendous place. I wanted some rum. And truthfully, my mind has been uneasy with the distance between us.”

Emma looked down. “But that’s better now, right?”

“Yes, lass. And we’ll keep working through the rest.”

Finally meeting his eyes with those beautiful emerald orbs, she smiled, if somewhat tremulously. “We will.”

Kissing her lightly, he smiled back. A genuine smile, one she hadn’t seen since Camelot. “Good. Now, I was going to remove my shirt. We can go to sleep, unless you want to…”

In response, Emma ran her fingers around the hem of Killian’s shirt and began to lift it. “I think you know what I want.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Making up heats up.

Killian gulped at her low, raspy voice. Then he hurried to take off his shirt, throwing it so it landed across the room. He returned his hand to her back as soon as he could, lightly drawing patterns onto the skin just under her shirt. His stump trailed down her chest, lingering between her clothed breasts. Her eyes darkened.

“There’s something I want, too, Swan.”

“Oh yeah, sailor? What’s that?” Emma ran her hand down his arm, then raised her hands to cup her silk-covered breasts, tweaking her already erect nipples. Killian leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers, their lips only millimetres apart. He drew his right hand from her back slowly, caressing the skin of her waist as he ran his hand under her camisole.

“What I want,” the words punctuated with a light kiss — “is for you” — another kiss, more lingering this time, “is to be completely naked.” Emma kissed Killian deeply before moving to lift her camisole. Grasping its hem, she slowly raised it over her head before tossing it to join his shirt on the floor.

Killian was looking at her with that same awed, admiring expression he’d had the first time they’d made love all those months ago during those six quiet weeks. Emma took a moment to thank whatever deities were out there that that was one thing that hadn’t changed before running her hands up his biceps before tangling them around his neck again. He brushed his lips over her jawline, moving gently to her neck. His kisses became wetter and he lightly sucked and marked at her neck. Not bothering to hold back her moan, she tangled her hands in his hair as she pushed down with her hips.

He gasped. Loudly. Raising his eyes to stare into hers for one intense moment, his eyes dark with want, he wrapped his arms around her waist before raising his hips to meet hers. Swallowing her answering groan in a kiss, he let his tongue reach out to tangle with hers. Emma began grinding her hips onto his, noting Killian’s obvious arousal.

“Emma, love...I need to touch you.”

“Do it.”

“Take off your pants, lass.”

Releasing her briefly, Killian watched as she removed the plaid sleeping pants. Shaking his head, he took the moment to remove his boxer briefs. After their clothes were removed, he looked up again to see her eyes running over his body with longing and approval. Walking to over to stand in front of him, she stood on her toes to kiss him demandingly. His erection throbbing between them, he ran his hand down her back before lightly smacking her ass. Emma’s only reaction was to pull him closer and intensify their kiss, pushing him back onto the bed. She landed on top of him as he let out a quiet  _ oomph _ ! Breaking her lips away from his, she pulled them farther up the bed. Legs on either side of him just below his pelvis, she began running her tongue down his neck and chest. Her fingers ran through his chest hair, the nails scraping his skin lightly. He let out a loud moan.

His cock landed between her breasts as she kissed her way down his abdomen.

Killian couldn’t help it; he thrust his arousal between her breasts. Gasping, she stopped before lowering her golden head further to the base of his erection, licking a stripe up his shaft. Before she could lower her mouth over his bulbous head, he stopped her. Lightly tugging on her hair, he stuttered, “Emma, please, wait. Not now. Want you. Need to be in you, love.”

Giving his cock one last longing look, she climbed slowly up over his body. Bestowing the softest of kisses on his lips, she whispered, “I love you.” Grasping the base of his achingly hard erection and giving him a quick stroke, she lined him up at her entrance and sank down.

They let twin moans. He took a moment to appreciate her hot, wet —  _ oh god, so wet, so gloriously wet _ — cunt embracing him. Placing his stump around her waist and running his hand through those glorious locks of hers, he leaned his sweaty brow against her shoulder before pulling his cock out of her warmth and thrusting back in. “I love you too, my Emma.”

He let Emma start a slow rhythm, moving over him. “Oh, god. Oh...Killian!” He kissed his way down her sweat-slicked chest to lower his mouth over one of her rosy nipples. Biting lightly, he smiled against her breast at the loud ensuing moan.

Tightening his arm around her waist, he flipped them so he was lying on top of her. He had slipped out of her while maneuvering them; Emma let out a low whine. Quickly lining himself up at her sopping entrance, he pushed back in. She wrapped her long, tan legs around his waist as he set a slow rhythm that had him reaching deep inside her. The sounds of their bodies meeting echoed throughout the room, mixing with his small grunts and her breathy moans.

Pulling him deeper inside her, Emma tightened her grasp on Killian. Feeling her fluttering around his cock, he kissed her sweaty forehead.

“Killian, I’m so close. I need to come.”

“Come for me, darling.” Digging her ankles into his ass, her cunt gripped him tightly, pulsating around his as she cried out. He fell over the edge with her, pushing into her one, two, three more times before spilling inside her.

After catching his breath a few minutes later, Killian pulled out of her and rolled onto his side, still facing her. Running his fingers down her body lightly, she whimpered a little. “Is everything alright, my lovely Swan?”

Emma let out an exhausted giggle. “Someone wore me out and got me all dirty.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her while smiling that small, loving grin she adored so much. “Well, you are a dirty girl.” Swatting his arm lightly, she made to stand up. Killian protested. “No, love, let me clean you up.”

Returning quickly from the adjoining bathroom, he ran the wet washcloth over Emma’s body gently. She let out a sigh of contentment. After cleaning himself and putting away the towel, he returned to the bed.

Bless her, Emma was struggling to stay awake, her eyes drooping heavily. Dropping a kiss onto her nose, Killian crawled under the covers with his naked love and wrapped his arms around her.

“Killian?”

“Yes, love?”

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?”

“Aye, Emma. We are.”

Feeling her nodding into his chest, she echoed his words with certainty, “We are.”

 

_ The end. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first time writing smut, and it was incredibly intimidating. But Hez said it made her blush, so I hope it is satisfactory!


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